domingo, 1 de noviembre de 2009

Y las enchiladas?

El viernes fui a visitar a mi abuela, como lo hago varias veces a la semana, y su condición ya es muy mala, conforme pasan los días, el dolor aumenta y parece que la morfina es lo único que le ayuda, pero igual le altera los sentidos, se desespera, y habla de cosas que no son.

Esta vez, mi madre ya se había ido, estaba ella sola en su cama, queriéndose levantar, después de preguntar que necesitaba, me decía sin parar que ella se había preparado unas enchiladas y que ya no estaban, que alguien se las comió, que eran para ella y no podía calmarla.

Pasaron 10 minutos para que se tranquilizara; comencé a acariciarle su frente y a abrazarla, diciéndole que ya durmiera, que descansara y así fue.

Hablando con mi madre, me dijo que la una de las enfermeras que se preocupa y atiende bien a sus pacientes, le comento a ella que de acuerdo a su experiencia, no le quedaba mucho tiempo a mi abuela, no lo hizo por mala onda, simplemente para tenerlo presente.

Y claro que lo tengo muy presente. Desde que le diagnosticaron su enfermedad es algo en lo que pienso muy seguido, pero hasta estas semanas que ya la he visto tan decaída, me ha caído el vente, de que en poco tiempo se va a ir, no se si a una mejor vida, solo espero que sea mejor que por lo que pasa en estos momentos.

Creí que estaba mas preparado para aceptar su muerte, pero esta semana me ha afectado mucho el hecho de saber que ya no va a estar,de ver que hasta hace muy poco era una se/nora de avanzada edad pero fuerte, activa, y ya no lo es.

Claro que es parte de la vida, bla, bla, bla, lo entiendo, pero ella es como mi madre, he pasado casi toda mi vida con ella, y nunca había tenido que enfrentarme a una situación similar, ya que cuando mi abuelo murió, un día se puso muy mal y al siguiente se fue. Me dolió mucho porque de igual manera crecí con el, con ellos pues.

Llorar es bueno, creo yo, y esta semana lo puse en practica, y mucho. La voy a extra/nar, pero es pero que ya no sufra mas.

En fin, creo que aunque casi no come, ha perdido el apetito completamente, ese día tenia antojo de enchiladas, y me comeré unas en su honor.




7 comentarios:

Esquina Tijuana dijo...

pues así son las separaciones, pero piensa que ella ya vivió una vida en la que tuvo de todo y quizá la ayudaría a despedirse no verte mortificado... su bienestar también vendrá cuando deje de padecer dolor, ánimo!

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